Spring is SO Wonderful

So today it was cloudy and rainy...which I don't mind if it doesn't beome too much of a regular thing! But yesterday it was SO beautiful outside!

J and I went out to eat on a date then we came home and went for a walk around our neighborhood. We hadn't done this since we moved in at the end of September. It was wonderful to walk all around! Then we came home and walked around our house deciding what exciting things we wanted to do to our yard this summer! Overall it was just a wonderful time being with J and enjoying life as it is.

You know as I say that this is what life was supposed to be at this point. I said I wanted to be married two years before having a baby. Well, we will come across our 2nd anniversary at the end of June. So in all reality this knowledge of not being able to have a baby and this desire and want and feelingness of something missing shouldn't be. I shouldn't feel like there is something missing. Because this is where I saw myself at this point in my life.

But when we were surprised in January 09 we began to have that feeling of three not two and ever since then I can't shake that feeling. There should be THREE of us here not two. Instead there is two here and three in heaven....THREE. I still am shocked when I realize how many times I have been pregnant in the past year and it is still just J and I.

BUT if I have to find the positive in this I will say God surprised us in January 09 because he knew it would take medical intervention to give us a family. So he wanted us to already be aware of that before we got to our 2nd anniversary and then had to wait longer. Does that make sense? Hopefully with being surprised so early -- and then realizing that we cannot have a baby without medical help (we don't even know if medical help will grant us our family yet) will help us out in the long run. Maybe this next time we'll get pregnant around our 2nd anniversary (or before :) ) and this time everything will be healthy and good and we'll get our rainbow baby!

I found some more blogs of women who are going through the same struggles I am. I find so much comfort in reading their words and knowing I'm not alone. That's the thing people do not talk about miscarriage. It's like a big hush thing and therefore I really feel isolated at times! So reading others blogs REALLY helps. Also, reading those who have struggled with loss and have gone on to have their rainbow babies really encourages me!

Okay, enough of that talk.

This spring my momma is going to come visit and help me plant some pretty, pretty flowers around our yard to help it look more homey! Our yard needs some serious loving to help it look good! And I cannot wait to start making it look pretty and happy!! :)

I've heard rumors it's supposed to be cold this weekend! I am really hoping it's not because I am ready for permanent spring weather!!! :)

I hope you can get out and enjoy it!!

LOVE
----J----