Breathing

This has been a tough weekend for me. No specific reason - just tough. I guess if anything my second baby was due in April and maybe that is what has sparked my feelings?

It's just been tough. I see a baby and I want one so bad my heart aches. I had a friend post some pics of her little girl on Facebook and one of the captions was "I love her so much words cannot express" and my heart ached because I want that SO BAD! SO BAD! Then at church this morning there was like a six year old girl in front of J and I and she came up near our pew and sat on the stairs and was drawing and I just thought to myself - I hope some day I get to have a girl that age. You know?

UGH! It's just been a tough weekend --- a very tough weekend for me. I think right around now is always tough for me because I know this is the time to concieve according to timelines - and then I haave to wait two weeks before knowing if we are pregnant. And it just is a nerve racing time for me. On top of it - I know obsessing over it and the nerves do NOT help me get pregnant if anything they prevent it! So I need to CHILL out! :)


Staying busy has been the key to my weekend. I was bored yesterday so I started going through boxes which are in what we call our nursery. It is a room that is still completely filled with junk and boxes since our Sept move. But I am happy to say that it is looking better! I got quite a bit cleared out - but now other parts of our house need organizing! lol!

Well, I guess I need to go grade some papers. Life of a teacher always have work to do!! I guess I need to count how many more days until summer!! :)

J